I’m deciding to jump right in to the heart of what is going on in my life.
April of 2016, my life changed for the worse, at least that’s what it felt like at the time. I was 37 weeks pregnant and I found out my husband was addicted to pornography. A lot of people might read this and think “what’s the big deal? It’s not like he cheated?”, but as Christ followers, it was a BIG deal and because of the vows he made before God and to me, he did cheat. At first I was heart broken. I was disgusted and betrayed. I felt unloved and unwanted. I wanted out and there were moments when I hated him. The timing was absolutely horrible because we were just getting ready to welcome our third child and I didn’t want to put any energy into fixing any of it.
It’s been six months since he first admitted, and I can honestly say, it has been the most amazing six months of our marriage. It hasn’t been easy and there has been some very, very hard days. I’m so proud of where my husband is today and the journey he is on. Him admitting this secret that he had kept to himself for 14 years, was freedom. It caused a lot of hurts for me but it also brought sins in my life to light that I wasn’t aware of.
We have made some life changes and I know we are on the right path. Not only a path of purity for my husband but we are on a path of becoming true followers of Jesus and having an amazing relationship with Him. I will share more of our journey with this sin and how we are dealing with it. I will also share what sins in my life have come to light as we have dealt with my husbands struggles.
If you struggle (or you husband), know that this is a stronghold that can be broken and there is a path to purity. Bring it to light and seek a support group and accountability.
Women, if you are dealing with this or dealing with a spouse who is dealing with this, find a support group and talk about it.
It’s not easy to talk about it but it takes the power away that the devil has when it is kept in secret. Bring it to light!
If you are local, contact me for the support groups we are in. If not local, contact your church to see what resources are available.
You need support!
“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” -Psalm 56:3