There are expectations I have for my marriage and for my husband regarding the sin of lust. Thankfully, God has made it clear about what is to be expected of us as Christ followers.
“God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Gen. 1:27)
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Gen. 2:24)
Since God created us for eachother, I expect our marriage to be between the two of us. I understand we are human and have sin living in us so we won’t be perfect, but we also have the Holy Spirit living within us so we shouldn’t fall all the time.
“Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned—” (Rom. 5:11)
“If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.” (Rom. 8:11)
As Christians we are called to “turn from our selfish ways, take up our cross daily and follow him.” )Luke 9:23) The first and greatest commandment is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matt. 22:37) The second is “you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matt. 22:38)
If we are truly loving God with all our hearts and souls and minds, and loving our neighbor as ourself, we will not intentionally be making decisions that lead us into sin or hurt others.
I feel like I could expect my husband to not view pornography or pornographic images on a computer again (or in a magazine). I can also expect him to not go to business that are made for men to lust (strip clubs, bikini espresso, hooters, etc). There are many boundaries that are crossed before this becomes available (will go into that later). I can expect my husband to keep safe boundaries up to avoid some temptations and have expectations of honesty, communication, and accountability as well. I expect him to be open and honest with me about how he is doing. He is my other half and I need to be in prayer fighting for him, especially if there is something specific in his life that is fighting for him as well. He needs to be open and honest with his accountability partner. But most importantly he needs to be open and honest with himself and with God.
I expect him to have accountability software on his work computer and any device he chooses to use to hold him accountable for what he is viewing and where he is making his treasures. I expect him to put an honest effort in avoiding whatever he has to, to avoid falling into lust. What he does will look “weird” because it’s not “normal”. But since when did being a “Christian” mean we blend it and go unnoticed? We are called to be salt and a light to this world (Matt. 5:13-16), and being salt and a light might also mean, looking like a weirdo.