Thankfulness in the Repeat

I’m working on changing the way I look at things. So often I look at my to-do list and dread what the day might hold and the repetitive things I need to do. It’s easy to get lost in the diaper changes, nursing sessions, sibling fights, laundry and everything else that just seem to be stuck on repeat.

I was getting ready for bed the other night and dreading the idea of going to the gym in the morning. It had been three days already since I managed to get in a work out, but the thought of waking up at 5/5:30 was very discouraging.

I’m guilty of not being thankful as often as I should be for the things I get to do. I was starting to feel like an entitled brat instead of being thankful for all the things God has allowed me to do.

Sure some things aren’t “fun” and not necessarily something I would choose to do every single day. But would I miss it, if I weren’t able to do it anymore?!

Without a doubt, I know I would miss every single thing.

Do I want to wake up early to go to the gym? Absolutely not! But I would miss it if the gym wasn’t an option. I seem to forget the stages I was in when I was pregnant when going to the gym was not an option because of bleeding or pain. I don’t want to forget how much of a blessing it is to have a body that I can work out and challenge. To try to get in shape.

My youngest son will be one next month. I already miss the fact that we are almost done with nursing. He is my last baby so I know I wont nurse again unless God has other plans. I’m looking forward to picking out my clothes that don’t need to be chosen based on how easily accessible it all is. I’m excited to be able to leave him with my husband or whoever so that I can run errands or so that my husband and I can go on a date that is longer than two hours.

But I am going to miss feeling needed by him. To cuddle with him with his cute little sleepy eyes. To be his main source of nutritions. So I am trying my hardest to put my phone down when I am nursing and to soak in every minute that I have left with him in this stage.

I miss that we are getting out of the baby stage and before I know it, we will be done with diapers (even though it feels like I have been drowning in them for the last 6 years).

It’s exhausting to maintain a home and meal plan every week. It’s exhausting to plan activities for kiddos every week so that we don’t go crazy and watch too much tv.

But if those things were taken from me, I would be heartbroken.

The things I do every day are the very things that make me who I am. I am a wife, a mother, a homemaker, and everything in between.

I get to wake up early. Some days I make it to the gym and care for my body and other days I head down stairs early to nurse my youngest or give a quick bath and change sheets because my older son has wet the bed again. I get to stay home with 4 kids and care for them. Some days we will watch too much tv and I’ll have mom guilt about it later, but they don’t care.

I know in ten years (maybe even less) I’m going to look back and miss all of this.

I’m ok with looking back and missing what was, but I don’t want to look back and be full of regret because I missed out on what was because of my attitude.

I don’t want to miss out on the daily gifts God gives me through my children and through the things that I do daily.

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